(Disclaimer: Very long. Only begin when you get time.)
Latest transcript of emails exchanged between budding script writer Blossom Babykutty and control-freak soap baroness Ekta Carrefour.
Email 1:
Wednesday 13th July
Dear Ekta,
As mentioned in our telephonic conversation of last week please find below my outline for a mega-serial that can be produced by your production house. Unlike conventional serials this story is rooted in reality and talks about the genuine problems faced by a simple family of parents and children struggling to come to terms with everyday life. I think it will be a refreshing break for your viewers. Do respond with your feedback on the same. I am assuming you will want to make a minor few changes.
I am also obliged that you have given me this opportunity to work for a prestigious establishment like yours.
Thanks and Regards,
Blossom Babykutty.
Attachments: Script
The Joglekars are a simple middle class family living in a modest housing complex in Ghatkopar. The family consists of a father, who works in a bank as a teller, a wife who is an out of work school teacher and two children. The elder son has just finished twelfth and is waiting for his entrance exam results. He wants to be a engineer. The younger daughter is still in school and an excellent dancer. She wants to go for classical dancing classes but the family cannot afford it. (Very real don’t you think?!)
Their house is a simple one bedroom affair. The home is clean and bright but in a spare sort of way. They live in a nice neighbourhood with an eclectic mix of neighbours: malayalis, tamilians, gujaratis, all of whom live in peace and harmony. (My script idea has no villains actually! I think that’s a really cool thing. It also makes the serial a much more feel good experience. Your thoughts?)
The serial starts off with the wife and children sitting around the dining table waiting for the father to come home for dinner. He is later than usual. The wife is beginning to get worried. Finally, just when the family is about to panic the father walks in looking very very tired and hassled. He sits down to eat but manages to eat very little.
It is bedtime now and we are halfway through the episode. The kids have dozed off but only after the daughter begs her dad for a little money to join dancing classes. The father smiles bitterly and promises to do it next month when he gets paid. The kids turn in and are asleep in a flash. The husband turns to his wife and confesses what is bothering him.
The loan repayments are piling up he says. The loans for the house, the scooter and the one they took for her hospital expenses last year now leave him with very little money. (The hospital angle will evoke curiosity in the viewer. They will want to know what happened!) Now with the son wanting to do engineering the father is distraught. Where is he going to get the funds? He explains that he was late tonight as he was making a round of his friends and colleagues hoping for a loan to tide through the next few months.
The wife comforts him and cradles his head in her bosom. (This image is so riveting no?) She tells him not to worry and to take one day at a time. She is even willing to sell all her jewelery for their children. (Emotion. Tears. Genuine!) He hugs her tighter as she speaks. When the episode ends we bid farewell to ‘Everyman’s Family’ and eagerly await for next week when we find out how they manage to slowly pull together and get on with life.
I was thinking we can call the serial: ‘Kya Zindaggi. Kya Khushi.’ It reflects the bittersweet quality of everyday life.
The End.
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Email 2:
Friday 15th July
Dear Babloo,
Thanks for your email. It was nice. I did not immediately remember our telephone conversation. But what the heck. I have read your great script and have made my minor corrections and notes, just below parts of your original scripts. The changes are only minor as I really like your thought process and the way you have structured the entire story.
I have not yet given you an opportunity to work for my organization me. Also please address me as ‘Madam’ or ‘Producer Jee’.
Thanks,
Ekta Carrefour
Script with revisions by Ms. Ekta Carrefour:
BB: The Joglekars are a simple middle class family living in a modest housing complex in Ghatkopar.
(E.C.: Good start Babli. But make a minor change. Let them be the Meswanis who live in a haveli on Malabar Hill. In fact their haveli is Malabar Hill. That fits in well with the rest of the changes I am making in the script. However the domestic help Bablu, who I added in just now, does live in Ghatkopar.)
BB: The family consists of a father, who works in a bank as a teller, a wife who is an out of work school teacher and two children. The elder son has just finished twelfth and is waiting for his entrance exam results. He wants to be a engineer. The younger daughter is still in school and an excellent dancer. She wants to go for classical dancing classes but the family cannot afford it. (Very real don’t you think?!)
(E.C.: Excellent mental picture Billoo. But for ease of filming and presentation I want to make some modifications to the family structure. There will be a grandfather who will provide the comedy angle. But he will be terminally ill from cancer, AIDS or both. I like the banking idea. So the father can be the owner of an international banking company. Like World Bank or something. His wife can remain as an ex-school teacher but is now a freelance jewelery designer. I too thought that two children would make the story more compact and clean. But plot potential? So let’s make the family have seven children. Three boys and four girls. We can add later if required.All the boys work in the bank. The women all hang out in the kitchen. But they can all dance! And sing too.)
BB:Their house is a simple one bedroom affair. The home is clean and bright but in a spare sort of way. They live in a nice neighbourhood with an eclectic mix of neighbours: malayalis, tamilians, gujaratis, all of whom live in peace and harmony. (My script idea has no villains actually! I think thats a really cool thing. It also makes the serial a much more feel good experience. Your thoughts?)
(E.C.: A haveli on Malabar Hill, you will appreciate, must have at least 10 bedrooms. This not only gives us flexibility with the sets but also gives each person their own room. Scope for character building! I hope you see how my changes are adding more substance to your basic storyline which we will always stick with and hardly ever deviate from. Your basic idea is great Bindu! Since the estate on which the haveli sits is very large, alas, we may not be able to accommodate neighbours for the time being. But what we can do is make casual references to the malayali or gujarati neighbours once in a while. We can introduce them in the second season if required.
I really really think the no villain idea is path breaking and innovative. However what I think we can do, for purely scripting ease, is make the driver, Inayat Khan, a terrorist. Like you wanted this is not a villain in the true sense. But a much more sinister presence. But the ‘no villain idea’ is excellent. I really like the idea Baljit.)
BB: The serial starts off with the wife and children sitting around the dining table waiting for the father to come home for dinner. He is later than usual. The wife is beginning to get worried. Finally, just when the family is about to panic the father walks in looking very very tired and hassled. He sits down to eat but manages to eat very little. He looks around at his wife and kids as they tuck into the food heartily. (I was hoping they would eat roti, dal and some simple bhaji. Bhindi or something. Reality!) We can sense something is wrong. But we have no idea what. (The tension should be palpable by now.)
(E.C.: This is where I want to make the first serious change to your script. The episodes need to be spaced out better. Since it is a large family, like you wanted Bunty, I think we should give the viewer the plot little by little at first. A detailed episode schedule is given after the script at the bottom of this email. But back to your script. The father is late for dinner and the rest of his family are waiting for him. The table is laden for evening tea with kulchas, khadi, khakras, kachoris, koftas, kaali dal and kaju burfi. All in little silver katoris. Very domestic! He eventually walks in, followed by Inayat Khan, looking very worried. Inayat places his bag on a shelf and walks to a corner of the room but only after shooting an affectionate glance at the youngest daughter! Intrigue! Suspense! Just like you wanted Beena!
They begin to eat joyfully but there is some grimness on the father’s face. At first no one notices. And then the wife sees it but mentions nothing. Viewers squirming with suspenseful agony. Post the meal everyone catches an auto to their respective rooms.)
BB: It is bedtime now and we are halfway through the episode. The kids have dozed off but only after the daughter begs her dad for a little money to join dancing classes. The father smiles bitterly and promises to do it next month when he gets paid. The kids turn in and are asleep in a flash. The husband turns to his wife and confesses what is bothering him.
(E.C.: Each child retires to their respective rooms to remove their jewelery and change into silk pyjamas before turning in. Here we can slip in a shot of one of the girls secretly pulling out a photo of any superstar film personality (Tushhar Kapoor?) and longingly looking at it. If only I could make it in Bollywood, she hopes. How is that for your ambitious daughter angle? Well done no?
Back to the parents. The father enters the Master Bedroom with his wife and walks for ten minutes till he reaches the wardrobe. As he changes he has a conversation with the wife. There are issues at the bank, he says. Someone is trying to buy up all the shares but he has no idea whom. Also secret internal dealings are leaking out to the public media. The bank is in some trouble from some large loans taken by one of the sons. <Perhaps we should make this son a married fellow and under the command of his scheming evil wife. I like this!> The mother comforts him saying that there is really no need to worry and she has done something special for him. She walks to the balcony and points downward. He looks out to see brand new Honda Accord parked outside. This is for you, she says, to take your mind off the bank problems. He whoops with joys and hugs her tightly. See how I got that very important hug into the script! You must be enjoying this Brinda!)
BB: The loan repayments are piling up he says. The loans for the house, the scooter and the one they took for her hospital expenses last year now leave him with very little money. (The hospital angle will evoke curiosity in the viewer. They will want to know what happened!) Now with the son wanting to do engineering the father is distraught. Where is he going to get the funds? He explains that he was late tonight as he was making a round of his friends and colleagues hoping for a loan to tide through the next few months.
(E.C.: After the hug the father walks over to the bed. He tells the wife how he was late because he stayed back to see if there was a spy in the office. CUT IN A CLOSE UP OF INAYAT KHAN! THE SUSPENCE BOILS OVER! He says how he went to his local country club to talk things over with some of his industrialist friends.
Cut to a comic interlude between the grandfather and the domestic help Bablu. Bablu’s son wants to do engineering and Bablu is trying to filch some money off the aged patriarch. This comedy angle can go on for several episodes. I was intent on keeping your engineering student issue. It is central to the story and a serious element. Good thinking!)
BB: The wife comforts him and cradles his head in her bosom. (This image is so riveting no?) She tells him not to worry and to take one day at a time. She is even willing to sell all her jewelery for their children. (Emotion. Tears. Genuine!) He hugs her tighter as she speaks. When the episode ends we bid farewell to ‘Everyman’s Family’ and eagerly await for next week when we find out how they manage to slowly pull together and get on with life.
(E.C.: The wife is a very traditional woman. She pats her husband on the head till he falls asleep. Once he sleeps there is a sudden change in her countenance. She walks over to any one of the seven telephones in the room and places a call. We do not know who is on the other side. She mutters in a sinister fashion: “He has got wind of it. I am sure Atul’s wife is behind it. You must be careful. We will worry about Inayat Khan later. Bring me a glass of vodka with a twist of lemon”. She hangs up. As she turns around her saree parts lightly and we see a flash of low-cut denim and pink thong peeking out. GOOD GOD WHAT IS ALL THIS! I MUST KNOW WHY THIS IS HAPPENING! THIS IS NOT A TRADITIONAL WOMAN! That’s what you are thinking exactly right? I know Babita! Your serial, with these minor changes, is going to rock!)
BB: I was thinking we can call the serial: ‘Kya Zindaggi. Kya Khushi.’ It reflects the bittersweet quality of everyday life.
(E.C.: Like most of your other suggestions I agree to this completely. It really does reflect the simple issues of an everyday family we are going to depict. I like this Bineeta. I love it!)
Episode Guide For First Fortnight as Recommended by Ekta Carrefour
Ep. 1: Family sitting around table. Focus on Kachori, Khadi.
Ep. 2: Kulcha, Kaali Dal.
Ep. 3: Kaju Burfi, Father entry.
Ep. 4: Inayat Khan glance at daughter.
Ep. 5: Wife notices. Mentions nothing.
Ep. 6: Tushhar head shot.
Ep. 7: Father walks into bedroom.
Ep. 8: Father reaches bed.
Ep. 10: Episodes Recap with focus on Tushhar head shot.
Ep. 11: Wife removes jewelery.
Ep. 12: Father sees Honda Accord.
Ep. 13: Shot of Inayat’s face.
Ep. 14: Father sleeps. Wife raises phone.
Ep. 15: Wife speaks. Cuts. Denim/Thong shot.
Ep. 16: Denim thong shot
Ep. 17: Denim thong shot
So what you can do now is this: If you agree to my changes and think we can go ahead with KZKK give me a call on my mobile number and fax me a copy of your kundli. It is on my card which I gave you. If you want to make some further changes then please mark them in this email and then mail it to <doesnottakehints@balajisoaps.com>. I look forward to hearing from you!
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Email 3:
Monday 13th July
Dear Madam,
I was thrilled to hear from you. I have faxed my kundli as requested by you. Also I spoke to your secretary on your number. She gave me an identity number and details for the meeting. Before I meet you in person next week I wanted to express my sincere gratitude for the opportunity.
You have really been able to give my ‘real man’s story’ a very constructive and original spin. I think the story is stronger and better now. I was afraid you would overpower my suggestions (Ghatkopar, Engineering, Dance, Hug, Dal) but you have left them all in.
I really look forward to meeting you and working with your company.
Thanks and Regards,
Script Writer No. 237
P.S. I will be bringing a pink thong when I come as mentioned by your secretary for the script discussion.
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