How bad is it?

By sidin
In Blog
8 September 2007
2 Min Read
29 Comments
H

Last night we were driving back home when the missus suggested we chill out the Imax here in Wadala for a bit. We do that on, I don’t know, alternate weekends?
It normally comprises a leisurely stroll around the food court area trying not to be smoked to death by the excessively aromatic Thai food place therewith or a formless slump into the sofa seats at the Crossword with a graphic novel.

But last night, as we drove up to the place I called up the booking number to see if any movies were available

Sidin: “Do you have Ram Gopal varma ki Aag?”

Lady: “He he he. No.” Much chuckling in the background.

Sidin: “It’s gone?”

Lady: “Yes we have removed it…” Guffaws. Snigger.

Sidin: “Ok. Sheesh…”

So tell me how bad is it? One week was all it was given? That hasn’t happened to Mohanlal ever. Sigh.

But seriously. How bad is this thing? Tell me using nifty little metaphors and similes. For instance :

1. As boring as a ‘Veteran Chartered Accountants’ mailing group

2. As painful as a hernia operation where you overhear the doctor say: “I said Anesthesia you fool! Anasthesia! What do I do with this DVD of the Academy Award-nominated animated feature film produced and directed by Don Bluth and Gary Goldman at Fox Animation Studios, that was released on November 14, 1997 by Twentieth Century Fox for god’s sake!”

Leave yours in the comments.

p.s. Saturday mornings aren’t so good for my metaphors.

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sidin
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29 Comments

  • Hey Sidin!
    I had the most unfortunate opportunity to go watch RGV’s with a couple of friends(got dragged in for the movie due to peer pressure, so its technically not my fault I wasted money on that dimwitted movie) Big B’s face was screwed up the entire movie as if someone was actually using a tweezer to pluck out hair by hair from his leg..or ahem elsewhere..Urmila seriously needs to consider retirement if she going to continue dancing with her beer belly glaring into the camera..and why did they make Lal’s beard look so artificial beats me. I wonder if Nisha Kothari’s parents are still alive after all that she has done in the film.

    And as for the metaphorical representation of the movie’s rating- As painful as a rectal abscess. I atleast had a laugh through Godzilla dubbed in malayalam. Now Im considering dying my hair..the movie caused me premature greying.

    Thanks for posting regularly:)

    Reply

  • This ‘Aag’ faded without a flame like a fart in the wind… It had its share of stink for a while and then… peace be with the victims…

    Reply

  • It is pathetic and utter rubbish all the way. And had to see another couple of movies to get over the effect… but that sick feeling is still there. I am shocked at what a powerful pack of actors like AB and Mohanlal with a serious actor like Ajay Devgan have delivered. And don’t even ask why everyone always keeps referring to America, Iraq… dialogues are pathetic… and the sequences.. only good part is the mehbooba song with Abhishek Bachhan.. and Urmila Matondkar. but no saving graces for this Ram Gopal Verma ki Aag aka Ramu ke Sholay. No wonder they were not allowed to use anything of the original sholay.. name, charcaters, songs (except for Amitabh and Sachin in different roles). Amitabh Bacchan should soon do something really good so that public can get over Babban.. yikkes

    Reply

  • It was as painful as- the tooth extraction where the dentist has forgotten to refill his barrell of nitrous
    – the clumsy tango partner’s pointy heels
    – the slap that you got when you proposed for the first time in life

    Reply

  • It was as painful as- watching all the below-100 movies of IMDB back-to-back
    – Monday morning blues, except that they are not blues, but like rainbow colors, added with the after-effects of the next-table-neighbor’s last night’s dinner that had “rajma” and mooli-k-parathe(got the first clue in the stuffed elevator!!) and exponentiated by the bad mood of the half bald, middle aged boss whose wife definitely denied him some naughty favors the last night !!!

    ps:The movie would have been better of named as “RGV ke aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

    Reply

  • Aag is as bad as “one finding out 10 yrs into his marriage that, the woman whom you married is a male”.

    the abstraction being:
    you got lured into it with a lot of promises,
    10 yrs: –> interval
    woman->man : the movie promised so much, but turned out to be a damp squib, that left u hanging at your wits end.

    maan… was that movie boring, or is my life so interesting? thatz the question!

    Reply

  • take your pick…
    as bad as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest (ok, I filched that from Stephen King!)

    or

    as bad as Aleem Dar’s decision-making skills

    or

    as bad as Aaj-Tak’s coverage of any “news-worthy” event

    or

    as bad as “Nishabd”

    Reply

  • There are ppl who are saying it is worse than “Onnaman” ( the worst lal flick I’ve seen ) , “Alibhai” ( recent ‘super golden mega hit’ — only as per the posters )

    Reply

  • ok, this ones not original at all – cant remember where i heard/read it either – but is the bestest i’v heard:
    the flick must be renamed ram gopal varma se (bh)aag!

    brilliant innit?

    Reply

  • Wrt adorable pancreas (ahem dunno what that means) I did pull out my hair one by one. NOBODY should watch that movie unless they are big masochists, actually not even then

    Reply

  • I would not even bother wasting my time to think and list out metaphors – of the many wtf moments, there were quite a few quintessential wtf moments which were pukeable to say the least…we just took mercy on the theater owner!!!

    Reply

  • The last Hindi movie i saw was Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. I am still recovering from it and I am done with my quota of hindi movies for the year.. but halla from Mohan Lal was good fun! 🙂

    Reply

  • quotes that were looming in my head after a horrendous ‘aaag’ session
    1. Aaaaaaaaaah!! My eyes!!!

    2. I need those 3 hours of my life back!!!

    3. Paati’s comment – Don’t worry da, must be your poorva janma paavom working on u!!!

    4. Wifeys comment – Next time you choose a movie, please meet your lawyer, the divorce application is ready!!

    5. Mom (being a hardcore amitabh fan) – RGV is trying to defame amitabh as he is a legend!! But he acted so well.. me – aaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

    Reply

  • It should have been called “Bhaag” instead of “Aag”!!! If the original sholay took hindi cinema to new heights, then this one too it to new depths!!!

    Reply

  • Hey Sidin macha!
    Nice set of issues.

    By the way, Chartered accountants arent that ‘uncool’ these days, yours truly belonging to this genre.

    The Gulf kaaaran marriage search was superb! Thank God that you didnt have to go through the same rigmarole to find your missus!

    Nish
    Chartered Accountant from ‘gelf’

    Reply

  • Smiles permitted, grins less welcome…
    Smiles permitted, grins less welcomeSignandsight.com, Germany -Mar 29, 2007The groups of Rileys and Sotos are not typical of Weinhart’s “Op Art”,…

    Reply

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By sidin 8 September 2007
29 Comments

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